these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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