Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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