just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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