Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
