Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
