Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
