Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
