i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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