oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
