This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
