youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
