And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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