Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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