i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
