he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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