THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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