I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
