why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize