What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Randomize
