and you said cock pushups were impossible
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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