Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Randomize
