I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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