One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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