But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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