I hate all girls vehemently.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
