Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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