Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize