I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
