You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
