What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
