I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
