just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
