So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
