im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
