Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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