If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
