I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
