I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
