tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
