Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
