I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
