We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
