When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
