Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
