he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
do herpes really smell.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
