Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
