Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
