therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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