I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
