Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
