You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize