Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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