Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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