Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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