We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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