Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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