just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
