i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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