If that was your dad, he is hot
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
