Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
