I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
