if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
