Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
