how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
