I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
