Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
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