Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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