Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
