Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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