Apparently you make a good broom.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
