'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize