Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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