Your tits are I can't wait for
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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