physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
