she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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