Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
vagina is talking i cant
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
